I cannot wait to recieve my prizes! And for once, to recieve post that doesn't remind me of how much money I spend. A completely guilt-free lovely present for following a great blog/podcast.
So, I should be happy.
|i've been hexipuffing- i have about 13 total|
it's 2:41 am.
the baby is asleep.
now, i don't know how many of my (plethora of) readers are parents, but when your baby is asleep you're supposed to be asleep too. it's kind of necessary to your survival the following day. you're supposed to take all the sleep you can get and cling to it like a life raft.
i think it's because my wrist hurts, but it may also be because i am far separated from my stash.
i'm back up in rescue for the week, and while it's great to hang out with my bf and his family it can get pretty dull around here.
i don't have a car and it's kind of out in the middle of nowhere.
but more importantly i only have the knitting i brought with me.
1) hexipuffs- many balls of sock wool and size 4 needles
2) ball of wool-ease and pattern from 2-at-a-time socks that I realized right after the cuff was just not working out for me and size 2 needles
i also brought some extra needles in case i acquired some yarn.
size 3 dpns
size 9 straights
size 11 straights
which is good because when my wrist started hurting, i complained to mil about how i should have brought some thicker yarn, and she busted out a big bag of yarn she was saving for me for xmas.
so now i'm working on a hoodie for vyvyan using the 9's and some homespun. there's a TON of it, and i'll have enough to make myself one to match.
but, acrylicy homespun is probably not too good for the wrist either.
i don't know why it hurts. i kind of want to go home and go to the doc and get an xray.
it sucks not being able to knit but more importantly, i can't pick up vyvyan. it really hurts when i put my hands under his armpits and lift and i can't find a more convenient less painful way to do it.
hexipuffs are absolutely out of the question, because they're knitted on only 3 dpns and there's a lot of wrist wrangling.
so for the last few hours i've been hanging out on ravelry just browsing the discussion forums and feeling left out of the hexipuffage.
like i said, i'm down.
somehow everything makes me sad.
like, my name wasn't listed on the KAL post and it made me feel invisible.
how can i feel so sad? i have no reason to feel sad. (well, except being parted from my yarn- even if i can't knit it i'd like to squeeze)
i have a happy little chunky baby who loves me very much
i have lots of food and music
i have a healthy family (well maybe not mentally ^_^)
i have some money
i have shoes on my feet and clothes on my back. (well actually i'm barefoot, but you know what i mean)
i have had a long history with depression, and may have recently stopped taking my pills because i thought it was time, but i don't think this is that. this feels more like the regular ol' blues. which i don't think i've ever had.
sadness without wanting to kill myself?
you know what i want? what i really really really want?
i want to buy some BIG chunky red wool.
and cast on for a simple garter stitch pillow.
I want bright and I want simple.
but i kinda need a car to make that happen.
anyway sorry for such a depressing post.
i hate to be a downer, but sometimes i am.
debbie downer that's me