She Who Cannot Crochet

I've been crocheting.
Did I ever mention that I can't crochet?
I want to preface this by saying that I really appreciate all the kind comments I have been receiving on my blog. I really enjoy reading them, and each one makes me smile. BUT I would prefer a "no comment" on this particular creation of mine.

Wow.
It's even worse on a computer screen.
I want to show you what it's supposed to look like.

I'm making the Orange You Glad bag from The Happy Hooker, which, as you can see, is supposed to be a small handbag. The thing I am making is the size of my laptop. And I don't have one of those fancy little ones, either. This thing is big. Probably because I didn't check my gauge. Because even though I've had nearly 10 years of knitting experience and have learned almost every gauge lesson there is, I assumed gauge wouldn't matter with crochet. Despite the entire chapter about it at the beginning of the book.

Yeah.
It matters.

In addition to the sizing issue there is the fact that I apparently haven't figured out yet where exactly the first stitch is supposed to be made. I thought I had the hang of it, I really did. I mean, the bag is just single crochet, and I thought I could do that. Really.

Apparently, when I'm busy changing colors I don't stop to count and make sure I always have the right number of stitches and at the end of the purse I'm missing a few. Or 5.

Sigh.

So that's really discouraging. I'm not even sure I want to crochet the strap and the leaves and stuff. I keep trying to tell myself that once I do the surface crochet along the edges of the circle it will look a lot better but... well... I've never done surface crochet and I'm not convinced.

This project is taking me an extra long time because, well, I just don't like looking at it. I am putting this one in a canvas bag for a while. And I've cast on something new.

Yes, that is a teeny weeny sock. It's for my son, who turns 16 months old TOMORROW!! Yay!