Friday, January 23, 2015

Finished.

I didn't share that I was pregnant here on the blog. I knew that pregnancy loss early on was a possibility, not from experience but from others. But I did cast on a baby blanket. I did complete the blanket, and I did have a miscarriage. For some reason I had the urge to share the blanket and the bad news with the knitting group I follow on Facebook. This is what I put:



"It is done. Both the blanket, and the pregnancy.
I don't know why, but I couldn't abandon this project even after I knew that we weren't having a baby in September after all. Something compelled me to work on it: its complex cables allowing me to forget myself and its simple wrong side rows giving me comfort. This is, after all, the one and only tangible thing this baby ever had. (Would have had.)
It's actually undoubtedly the most beautiful thing I have made to date. I found this article on miscarriage, and it really helped me.
http://thesnapmom.com/knitting-miscarriage-journey-frogging/
Thank you to everybody who prayed for me the last time I posted. I know that your prayers were answered, because at heart what we were all praying for was a healthy baby. This one wasn't that healthy baby. In the knitting analogy, perhaps I had cast on too few stitches or too many. The stitch repeat was not working, and the design elements did not line up.... Frogging is sometimes a necessity."

The support I received was overwhelming. Over 300 people liked the post, and almost 200 commented. Many words of understanding, of prayer, of experience, and love. I was grateful to have people. These knitters, who understood. And because I now have this beautiful finished object, I would be lying if I kept it secret here on the blog. My ravelry project page link is here: http://www.ravelry.com/projects/grandmastatus/baby-tree-of-life-throw

Don't worry about me. Still knitting.



4 comments:

  1. What a beautiful way of phrasing your experience. I'm sorry you lost your baby. Your blanket is lovely

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  2. I feel for you. I lost my son at 16 weeks. It was the first time I had knitted anything for years, but I never knitted anything for him. Maybe now I will.

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  3. So sorry for your loss. The blanket is gorgeous.

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  4. That is a hard road to travel, I'm glad the blanket was a help to you.

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