The Brutally Honest UFO Post



I think this is all of them....I hope this is all of them...

 So today I went closet rummaging, bookshelf scouring, and under-bed searching. I found what I believe to be all of my unfinished objects, hibernating or not. Then I went outside. Well, actually first I waited impatiently for this to happen:

So once the little one was passed out on the floor, I took all my WIPs outside for a photo session.
I admit that I swept the porch first, not out of respect for my handknits but so people wouldn't see how dirty my porch is. I realize now that it's kind of useless since you can see my ghetto grouping of broke-down bikes right behind my WIPs, but I chose the picture where its least obvious. I try.

So lets start opening these buggers up!

Mmmmmm fingering weight! 100% wool. Very pretty. What is this and why did I abandon it?

Ah yes, Nancy and Judy

Project: Nancy and Judy Shawl on size 6's with Pinguin Laine
Progress: Maybe 15%
Status: WIP, since I'm not avoiding it.
Why abandoned: The pattern is a little bit too complicated for watching-the-monster-in-the-living-room knitting. I don't have enough brain juice to spare right now. I adore the pattern, love the project (although I did have to change the way I did the left twist) but I need a quiet place where I can focus in order to work on this.
Solution: My solution for this one is WIP wednesday! I can arrange to make 1 hour to focus, especially if it's baby crash time.

What? Another Shawl?

Project: Mara Shawl on size 7's with Bryspun kid n ewe.
Progress: Maybe 10% because my mom wants a big shawl
Status: WIP
Why abandoned: Because I had to take out the needles to do that video review and I'm to lazy to put them back on.
Solution: Stop being a lazy dumbass! This one is SUPER easy knitting and it's beautiful when completed so I say it's perfect take with you on vacation to Will's house knitting :)

I forgot this one so I had to take an indoor picture

Project: The Dumb Baby Sweater with some really ancient squeaky red heart baby
Progress: 85%
Status: UFO.
Why abandoned: I removed the needles in order to do the review thing, but didn't check what size they were beforehand. I believe they were fives, but I'm not entirely sure. Also, it's gotten to a part of the pattern where I kind of have to pay attention. Also, my neice is having a baby and I don't want to give her something made of acrylic, so why am I kniting something made of acrylic?
Solution: I think I'm going to have to tough this one out, and finish the damn thing. Maybe I used 6's. Maybe I should use 6's anyways because nobody will know but me and technically that will make it go faster. WIP wednesday solution, again. After all, this one might only need an hour to complete. Then i get a baby-sweater-finishing high.

100% Wool Socks

Project: Socks for Will, using size 0 needles and Cestari 2 ply sock yarn
Progress: 70%
Status: Hibernating (These were supposed to be my May socks)
Why abandoned: Size 0 needles! They poke me and ow, it hurts. Also, very slow progress.
Solution: Only work for a small amount of time at a time. Will has tried on the complete one and he loves them and they fit great! Except that I CO 72 at the top and 64 would have been better. (I didn't know my boyfriend had girly ankles!) The solution is NOT to cast on more socks.



Froot Loops

 Project: Froot Loops in Knit one Crochet two's crock o dye, using size 2's
Progress: 75%
Status: WIP
Why abandoned: Because I have startitis and I forgot how lovely this yarn is. I forgot how beautiful the pattern is. I forgot how much I like finishing pairs of socks. I forgot that these are socks that are actually for ME!!
Solution: Finish these babies in the car ride to Will's today!! Super easy AND super rewarding. mmmmmmm socks!

Yum!

Project: "New Sweater" (self 'designed') using random cascade 220 and various wools and size 8 circs
Progress: About that much.
Status: Hibernating.
Why abandoned: Because I suck at self-designing colorwork, obviously. Also, i think it may be coming out slightly too small. And I love my mommy a lot, but I want this sweater for myself dammit! Also, I'm afraid because the plan is to work a yoke and I've never done that before. But on the other hand, I need those size 8 circulars so that I can knit my Slytherin sweater!!
Solution: Knit the slytherin sweater using the new takumi set. Continue to ignore this sweater.

That's really all there is.

Project: Dr. Watson Sweater on size 3's with crappy polyester yarn from walmart/
Progress: A sleeve. OK? ONE FREAKING SLEEVE AND IT'S BEEN ON THE NEEDLES FOR LIKE FOUR MONTHS!
Status: Complete hibernation, as in I have convinced myself there IS no Dr. Watson sweater.
Why abandoned: Mainly the small needle size mixed with the unnatural material. It hurts when I knit on it, and it feels kind of stiff because I had to go down so many sizes to get gauge.
Solution: This one is headed for the frog pond. I'll try again with Fisherman's or some other wool.

There are supposed to be 24 of these

Project: Smitten Garland (using size 3's with wool-ease worsed)
Progress: 5/24
Status: Hibernating
Why abandoned: Because Christmas is so far away. (Note that this fact does not prevent me from finishing a horde of christmas presents early.) Also, it's 24 of the same damn thing. Also, they're tiny and so you crank em out in like 30 minutes. Which you would think is exciting, but really? It means you have to do all the finishing and stuff so often you want to kill yourself. Also, I made the first two really cute and small and then the last three came out in an entirely different gauge. And that bothers me.
Solution: Continue to ignore. Maybe leave the ravelry smitten-a-long so nobody asks me about them.



>_<

 Project: Reversible Irish Hiking Scarf in "vanna's choice" and size 9s
Progress: 20% MAYBE 25%
Status: Ice cold hibernation
Why abandoned: I can't keep up with the pattern. The only way I can do it is if I literally write down each row as I finish it. I tried just memorizing it and had to tink back several horrible rows until I got to a cable cross I understood. Also, this yarn produces little tweedy flyaways that get in my nose and make me super itchy. Which I hope doesn't happen to the recipient.
Solution: Man up cecilia!!! WIP Wednesday this baby! It's a beautiful scarf, and you have unti Christmas to knit on it. Don't work on it so much you feel sad, just prolong the horror. Worst case scenario? Gift some chocolates.



This is actually a sweater, but this is a nice closeup



As you can see, my photography skills are lacking. Also my camera may be cheap.

Project: Hardcore Sweater with Size 11's and Bernat Roving
Progress: 60%
Status: UFO
Why abandoned: There are actually a quite few reasons for abandoning this project, but almost all of them are a variant of "I'm a Pansy."
1) I'm too pansy to learn how to do intarsia on the front and back. (there's a skull on the front)
2) I'm too pansy to learn to embroider the back. Especially because it's words! (it says knit or die)
3) I'm afraid that if I try to sew it up with the roving, it will be too weak and all my seams will come apart in a public place when I'm wearing something underneath that is more embarrassing than a hand knit sweater with a skull on front that says "knit or die" on it.
4) Size 11 needles are really unwieldy.
5) Almost all the fun fair isle bits are done and it's about to get really boring.
6) Does anyone look good in a bulky sweater? Really?
Finally
7) It's summer. It's way too hot to be knitting a gigantic sweater back!
Solution: My "due date" for this one was supposed to be the end of july if I want to knit 3 sweaters this year. I think, since it is bulky yarn, I should continue with this one because it only needs most of the front and the back done and then finishing. Hopefully the knitting goes quickly and that I can work on it during times of A/C.

Oh Look. More socks.

Project: Socks made with size 2 needles and patons kroy rag something or other. very cute yarn.
Progress: 10%
Status: WIP
Why abandoned: HAHAHAHA this one I haven't abandoned yet. In fact, I just cast on for it this morning. BTW, they're for Will. Because I was tired of working on the wool socks above. *sigh*
Solution: Don't cast on any more projects at random!! Unless you find really cute yarn like this. And you happen to have a spare set of needles of the perfect size so that there's no finger-pokey going on and so that the knitting goes by lickitty split.

Oh boy.
I think that's it. I think.

Oh Shit.
It's not.
Guilty Confession #35:

These are my February socks.

Project: Guitar Man socks on size 1's with...some yarn. some joanns brand yarn. sensations?
Progress: 60 % ish?
Status: Nonexistent
Why abandoned:
1) I hate the pattern
2) I made the sock a size 8 1/2 and I don't know anyone that size.
3) I made the toe stupid
4) I finally unpansied myself from second sock syndrome and worked on the second cuff, as you can see. Then realized I knitted the twisted rib cuff about an inch too long.
5) I hate twisted ribbing
6) Weird and ugly pooling.
Solution: I don't even know. I don't want to keep working on them. The last time I stuffed them in their little WIP bag, I noticed about 8 stitches were dropped who knows how long ago. I picked them back up uncarefully and tossed the whole thing unceremoniously in the closet. I don't want to frog them. Especially since I would have to undo an ENTIRE freaking sock and practically half of the other one. But I have no reason to knit them since they're in a stupid size and I don't have enough friends, apparently.
I ask you all for help.
What would you do?

Oh, and now for some clarification:
What is the difference between a UFO and a WIP?
I made a differentiation there, didn't I? I'm not honestly sure, but the way I'm classifying it is this: Project is a UFO if it has not seen the light of day in more than a month. Project is a WIP if I am working on it- even intermittantly.
What is all this hibernating nonsense?
Project is hibernating if it is hiding in my closet and I have no intention of ever looking at it again, though I might pretend I do. Deep freeze means I admit I'm probably never knitting another stitch on it. In the case of my february socks, I have left the status as "nonexistent" because my own brain has eradicated them from my memory. Except when I dig around and I'm forced to acknowledge their existence. But hey, that's what this post was all about, right?
Right

Happy knitting!